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Y kawika

Sunday funnies........

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RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".

 

 

 

 

:geezer:

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Doritos fan-made Super Bowl commercial finalist

 

Edited by geewhiz

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Ladies, if a man says he will fix, he will.

There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

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moray_zpsbxxilr43.jpg

 

:) Y

 

........... okay sorry, but couldn't resist and I've been humming it all day now. :rofl3:

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:funny:

 

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the
director how do you determine whether or not a
patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the
director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a
teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and
ask him or her to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I
understand," I said. "A normal person would use the
bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the
teacup." "No," said the director, "a normal person
would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the
window?"

 

:rofl3:

 

 

 

 

:geezer:

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