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bob3160

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Mothers Day Is Almost Here!

 

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I'd like to wish every MOM here a very happy Mothers Day. :)

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Warning

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ALIENS ARE COMING TO EARTH ON FRIDAY

THEIR MISSION IS TO ABDUCT ALL GOOD LOOKING AND SEXY PEOPLE.

DON'T WORRY, YOU ARE ALL SAFE ,

I JUST WANTED TO SAY GOODBYE TO ALL OF YOU .

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KEEP THIS IN MIND AS YOU ARE DOING YOUR CLEANUP CHORES.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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New use for Windex

 

 

 

I haven't checked 'snopes.com' to see if this actually works or not . . .

 

 

 

But they say,

 

 

If you ever get the sudden Urge to run around naked,

You should sniff some Windex first.

It'll keep you from streaking.

 

 

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HAVE A GREAT DAY!

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It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

 

One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb).

 

The average man's :filtered: is three times the length of his thumb.

 

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

 

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

 

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

 

Women reading this will be finished now.

 

Men are still busy checking their thumbs.

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FREEZER BAGS:

They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

 

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PHOTOCOPIERS:

These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.

 

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TIRES:

Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated

 

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HOT AIR BALLOONS:

Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.

 

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SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

 

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WEB PAGES:

Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

 

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EGG TIMERS:

Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

 

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HAMMERS:

Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

 

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THE REMOTE CONTROL:

Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying

FREEZER BAGS:

They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

 

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PHOTOCOPIERS:

These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.

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Instructions for properly hugging a baby

 

 

1. First, uh, find a baby

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2. Second, be sure that the object you found was Indeed a baby by employing classic sniffing techniques.

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3. Next you will need to flatten the baby before actually beginning the Hugging process.

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4. The 'paw slide' Simply slide paws around baby and prepare for possible close-up.

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5. Finally, if a camera is present, you will need to execute.

The difficult and patented 'hug, smile, and lean' so as to Achieve the best photo quality.

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Words of Wisdom

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Women are like phones:

 

They like to be held, talked to, and touched often.

 

But push the wrong button and your butt is disconnected..

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Thanks terry 1966 for that compliment. :) Here's today's chuckle:

 

The cutest :filtered: you will ever see!

 

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What were you thinking? It is a cute :filtered:!

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got a nice pic of a cute little :filtered: there bob

 

there's a way around the filters

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Do you feel like working today?

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Tomorrow?

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The day after?

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Next week?

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Next Month?

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Next Year?

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Me neither! I just want to party!

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Have a GREAT day. :)

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