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Problem with daughter's PC


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Hi everyone. I have posted in the past about problems with my daughter who is only 14 and her PC but I hope someone can help.

 

The story so far: my daughter regularly uses a US site called scrabulous.com as she is a great Scrabble player. She has also lately started to use private chat rooms there and, because we are constantly monitering our children's PC's, we have become aware that our daughter is repeatedly in contact with one particular user of the site who is based in the US. Checks have proved that this user, who claims to be a 15 year old boy, may in fact be much older than that.

 

Nothing illegal has so far happened or been suggested but I am really uncomfortable with this situation as I fear for our daughter's safety.

 

My questions is this....... is there any way I can stop this user connecting with our network... ie stop his PC being able to connect with my daughter's PC?

 

Any help would really be appreciated on this one.

 

Poleyhob

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A decent firewall program should have the ability to maintain an exclusion list. Additionally, if you believe that this person is purposely mis-representing their age you should report their I.P. to the site administrators with their concerns.

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a good internet security has options to disable live chats or chatrooms

i use trend pc-cillin ...other internet securities also can block live chat

if your daughter doesnt want to chat with the person in question she could change her id

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Erm........... soory for being a bit thick about this but can someone explain exactly how I can stop this person communicating with my daughter. I am not very PC literate so step by step would be good. She is using firefox as her browser by the way.

 

P

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i wouldnt allow my daughter to chat with anyone i dont approve of.

most chatrooms can block a chatter...they have a ignore feature.

like i said you can block the whole website with a good internet security.

the problem is ....as long as they are chatting you wontbe able to stop them. Try to get his name and report this to the police.after all as a parent your allowing your daughter in a very high risk situtation.

there are plenty of scrabble game website she can play.

but this only my opinion.....and i have a daughter......to her allowing her to use the computer is privilige...not a right..........................

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Your wanting the disconnect the connection between the computers... well it doesn't really work that way. You can't just put in some Ip or what ever you want and get rid of him.

 

Really i would just talk to your daughter about this , because its not easy to just block something.

 

If its a website shes talking on , just block the website. If its messenger , well you may have a problem , you can just disable access to messenger through a firewall program like Mcafee.

 

Like i said before , talk to her , sometimes you just need to have trust. Tell her shes not allowed to talk to him and get her to change Id.

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to block her from the network or internet completely, Just go to your router and Block her ip address. Usually 192.168.1.xxx

 

After that, if you just want to block a site, im sure you can do it that way. But being as a kid I am, you should take to her rather then just forcfully take it away. I never had this issue, but I am just saying then just completely taking it away from her. Figure out whatas really goin on

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Erm........... soory for being a bit thick about this but can someone explain exactly how I can stop this person communicating with my daughter. I am not very PC literate so step by step would be good. She is using firefox as her browser by the way.

 

P

 

 

Since this is a third party connection there is no direct connection between your (daughter's) computer and that of this individual. The website hosts a central meeting area (server) that other computers connect into.

 

Since you are at this point merely concerned about the individual, the best action is to speak with your daughter about it. If there is nothing unseemly about the nature of their conversations then all you really can do is forbid her to interact with this person, and suggest she use caution in the future.

 

If she is unable or unwilling to do this, you need to block this site, and using the firewall settings will do this. Each program is different, and if you can tell us which one you use, there will be someone that can walk you through that process.

 

If she is being contacted through her instant messaging program (different than the website chat area) then there is a bit of a problem, and you can set the IM program to block that... again, if you can tell us what program you (she) is using we can walk you through that too.

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My duaghter uses firefox as her browser but also uses MSN meseenger to contact this person. I am concerned that this person may be, or intends to put our daughter in a position of danger. I need to break the connection between them. What is the best way to do this? I don't really want to ban her from using this site as she has a lot of genuine friends on there but I really do need to stop her having any contact with this particular user. Any ideas or tips gratefully received

 

Thanks

 

Poleyhob

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My duaghter uses firefox as her browser but also uses MSN meseenger to contact this person. I am concerned that this person may be, or intends to put our daughter in a position of danger. I need to break the connection between them. What is the best way to do this? I don't really want to ban her from using this site as she has a lot of genuine friends on there but I really do need to stop her having any contact with this particular user. Any ideas or tips gratefully received

 

Thanks

 

Poleyhob

 

 

Talk to her. Play good cop bad cop. Figure out who the guy is.

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Windows and MSN messenger have a tab under the tools menu for Privacy. You can place this person on the list to block them from having contact. Your daughter will likely be able to figure out how to undo this if she wants too contact this person.

 

You will need to speak with her and explain why this is not a good relationship for her too have at this point in her life, and setup the blocks together. She can delete the contact from her friends list, and you and she can add them to the block list. This is usually under Tools => Options => Privacy.

 

I don't know of an administrative way to do this so she CANNOT contact this person again, you will need her cooperation, hence will need to discuss this with her. She does not need to "say goodbye" or explain herself. Just delete the contact and block them.

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Talk to her. Play good cop bad cop. Figure out who the guy is.

 

I totally agree.

 

If your not wanting to block her from the site then there is nothing you can do there.

 

For Messenger you can get her to block him , or you can block access to her using messenger.

 

Like said above , all this is third party interactions. Its not computer to computer , its computer to server to computer.

 

Plus if you just block her from things , she may not be to happy with you , and it could ruin any future relations.

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Usually when an adult is contacting a minor and misrepresents their age to young it is dangerous. They tend to have a motive to try and win over the child and hopefully meet. Granted there are some adults that only will communicate and nothing else, but I wouldn’t take those chances. If you talk with your daughter and stress your concerns that this "boy" isn’t a boy but a man and maybe do some more work on your own you might find success. Also there are many online groups that can assist you with online predators. Usually a warning from one of these to the adult sends them packing. (i.e. http://www.perverted-justice.com/ )

 

you don’t need to come down hard on your daughter, but at the same time don’t take this lightly. Good luck in removing this "creep" from your family’s life and I wish the best for you all. More parents need to take a more forward approach with their children like you and not just let the TV and Net raise them.

Edited by samhain
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