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Cardiologist Dies


hftmrock
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A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart

covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following

the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart

then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

 

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes

stared at him, he said, 'I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own

funeral..... I'm a gynecologist.'

 

That's when the proctologist fainted

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Why is it that I never can get material here for my sermons?

 

Rev :thud:

 

 

 

Overheard: I'm not even Catholic, but I gave up picking my belly button for lint. :P

 

 

 

 

 

Woman returned home one night after attending evening service only to find a burglar in her home. She yelled "Stop, Acts 2:38". The burglar froze and the woman called the police, the police came in and handcuffed the man and took him away. While placing the man in the police car he asked the burglar why he didn't run away as the woman only recited scripture to him, the burglar replied "Scripture, she said she had an axe and two 38's". :mrgreen:

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Why is it that I never can get material here for my sermons?

 

Rev :thud:

 

 

Here ya go!!!

 

 

Nun in the Bathroom

A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

 

However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom?

 

The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf." Well, in that case I'll just look the other way," said the nun. So, the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.

 

After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"

 

"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?" But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.

 

"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out. Now, how about that drink?"

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