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The Wisdom of Larry the Cable Guy


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Wisdom of Larry, the Cable Guy


1. A day without sunshine is like night.


2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.


3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the



4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.


5. Remember, half the people you know are below



6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.


7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.


8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second

mouse gets the cheese in the trap.


9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some

people have.


10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad



11. Change is inevitable, except from vending



12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple

of payments.


13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesi s? Raise

my hand.


14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?


15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the

wrong lane.


16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays

off now.


17. How much deeper would the ocean be without



18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked

into jet engines


19. What happens if you get scared half to death,



20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?


21. Inside every older person is a younger person

wondering, "What the hell happened?"


22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we

would all fall off.


23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some

people appear bright until you hear them speak.


24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more

like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might

burn your butt tomorrow

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