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The Butler.


Wigan
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A wealthy couple prepared to go out for the evening. The woman of the house gave their butler, Jervis, the night off. She said they would return home very late, and she hoped he would enjoy his evening. The wife wasn't having a good time at the party. So, she came home early, alone. Her husband stayed on, socializing with important clients. As the woman walked into her house, she found Jervis by himself in the dining room. She called him to follow her, and led him into the master bedroom.

 

She turned to him and said, in the voice she knew he must obey, "Jervis, I want you to take off my dress." This he did, hanging it carefully over a chair. "Jervis," she continued, "now take off my stockings and garter belt." Again, Jervis silently obeyed. "Now, Jervis, I want you to remove my bra and panties." Eyes downcast, Jervis obeyed. Both were breathing heavily, the tension mounting between them. She looked sternly at him and said, "Jervis, if I ever catch you wearing my stuff again, you're fired!"

 

:mrgreen:

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A Texas millionaire is having a big party at his crib. He escorts his guests

outside to his Olympic size pool. He calls everyone to gather around the

pool to look at his huge shark. The millionaire offers one of three things

to anyone who can swim down and back without becoming a meal.

 

1. A millions dollars, 2. His estate, or 3. His beautiful southern belle wife.

Splash!!!

 

The butler dives in the pool and is off! He swims like an Olympian.

The shark is on his :filtered:. He finally reaches the wall and hops out soakin' wet.

The millionaire yells, "By golly you did it!"

Now let me guess you want a million dollars.

 

The butler is gasping for air, as he says "no".

Well, you must want my estate. The butler, still breathing hard, says "no".

Oh...you must want my beautiful southern belle. Again, the same answer, "no"

Finally, everyone including the millionaire is confused.

 

"Well, son, what the hell do you want?" Everyone waits in silence for the butler to speak...

 

"I WANT THE MOTHERF***ER THAT PUSHED ME IN THE POOL!!!!!"

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A Texas millionaire is having a big party at his crib. He escorts his guests

outside to his Olympic size pool. He calls everyone to gather around the

pool to look at his huge shark. The millionaire offers one of three things

to anyone who can swim down and back without becoming a meal.

 

1. A millions dollars, 2. His estate, or 3. His beautiful southern belle wife.

Splash!!!

 

The butler dives in the pool and is off! He swims like an Olympian.

The shark is on his :filtered:. He finally reaches the wall and hops out soakin' wet.

The millionaire yells, "By golly you did it!"

Now let me guess you want a million dollars.

 

The butler is gasping for air, as he says "no".

Well, you must want my estate. The butler, still breathing hard, says "no".

Oh...you must want my beautiful southern belle. Again, the same answer, "no"

Finally, everyone including the millionaire is confused.

 

"Well, son, what the hell do you want?" Everyone waits in silence for the butler to speak...

 

"I WANT THE MOTHERF***ER THAT PUSHED ME IN THE POOL!!!!!"

 

 

 

:rofl::laughing::laughing::laughing:

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