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OSalcido

Girlfriend of 4 Years Left me

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There is a saying that 'long distance relationships' seldom, if ever; work. Heed it, for it is often very true.

Very true.

 

When men start thinking of woman as a sub-species as is taking place here, then they have already lost the true reality of the relationship. Both men and women have feelings, desires, needs, and both do indeed think for themselves and react to their immediate environment. You males must get back on track and think of THE WOMAN in this discussion as an individual. It certainly is not, nor ever has been a case of 'us' vs. 'them'.

Disagree: Not that women don't have feelings and needs- but in the US vs. THEM item women do think and act very differently than men do... not a hard fast rule but generally accurate.

 

A man will not generally consort with his friends and ask if they think his woman is 'quality'. If she is attractive then that's good enough- if she has personality traits that are positive and endearing then it's a bonuse. Ugly girls have a difficult time getting all but a certain margin of men- those with low/no self esteem, and those that are so obsessed with intercourse as to forego all conventions of taste and class (90% of men after a few beers, but... well you know)

 

OTOH a man that is by all conventional senses unattractive at best can still make off with a 'trophy' girl if he is rich enough, or cunning enough, or able to provide some sort of persona that appeals to the complex senses of the female species.

 

Women are also MUCH better at the emotional blackmail and backstab game which seems to be the type of thing that started this whole thread. While men occasionally can be petty and spiteful it is less typical.

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Well after all this advice OSal you obviously need a new interest. Why don't you contacty Jacee and take the Peacocks off her hands?

They're cheap to feed they sleep on the roof and they certainly won't dump you. And if you get fed up with them you can always invite a few mates around for a BBQ.

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Well after all this advice OSal you obviously need a new interest. Why don't you contacty Jacee and take the Peacocks off her hands?

They're cheap to feed they sleep on the roof and they certainly won't dump you. And if you get fed up with them you can always invite a few mates around for a BBQ.

 

lol.. i'll keep that in mind

 

for now I'm filling time by taking the few college classes I need to become a nurse and working out whenever the stress builds....... I've got a budding 6-pack after just 6 days of working out... non-stop...I cant really sleep too much anyway. Had a horrifying dream about the girl that I dont care to discuss but brought back alot of feelings.

 

I've thought about it alot, ALOT , these past few days. I even talked to her one on one .... and I realized how full of :filtered: she really is. I blamed myself for EVERYTHING i blamed myself for driving her away and treating her badly and not being with her as much as I could of, etc... but after talking to her I realized that shes just a horny teenage girl that wants to play the field, lol...that reduced my pain ten-fold alone.. I'm feeling good about my body (just knowing I can Kick the other guys :filtered: is enough for me, I dont actually have to do it)... and I promised myself that I will workout so much in the following month than mail her pictures of what she's missing....... Im sure tracy or someone will call that petty but I'm gonna laugh my :filtered: off when I'm ripped and shaped and the girl is the same, short, stocky, average looking , heartless person

 

She told me she had "changed" over the past few months and wanted to move on with her life... my goal now is to not only move on with my life.. but to move on faster and exceed her.

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... and I promised myself that I will workout so much in the following month than mail her pictures of what she's missing....... Im sure tracy or someone will call that petty but I'm gonna laugh my :filtered: off when I'm ripped and shaped and the girl is the same, short, stocky, average looking , heartless person

 

She told me she had "changed" over the past few months and wanted to move on with her life... my goal now is to not only move on with my life.. but to move on faster and exceed her.

 

Yep. You are correct. If you planned on moving on you wouldn't be working out just to be able to send her new pics of yourself. You would be working out for yourself and not worrying about her anymore. Moving on means just that. Sending her pics will just reflect that you still aren't over it yet or moved on. Hence her opinion still matters. Why is that? ;)

 

Become a nurse, work out for YOURSELF and nobody else, after all living well and happy is the greatest revenge of all. B)

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Yep. You are correct. If you planned on moving on you wouldn't be working out just to be able to send her new pics of yourself. You would be working out for yourself and not worrying about her anymore. Moving on means just that. Sending her pics will just reflect that you still aren't over it yet or moved on. Hence her opinion still matters. Why is that?

I have to agree with this. It doesn't sound as if you don't care at all by thinking about everything you do in terms of her. It's inevitable that this will happen for a little while, but you have to get yourself out of this mode of thinking that everything is in relation to her/how she thinks/how she might view something/how she might feel. Easier said than done, but to keep going like this is unhealthy - and binds you to her, when you may feel you want to break free of her and her influence. You have to decide whether you want to perpetuate that influence.

 

Good luck in shedding this. It's the first step away.

 

Cut all ties and conatct - why do you want to communicate with someone who you have described in the most awful and unattractive terms? You're hurt, of course. You cared about her a lot, so she can't be all bad. Stop bad-mouthing her, and retain some dignity. Stop pulling yourself down by hating so publicly.

 

Get yourself where you're aiming for in life and fill your time - which it sounds as if you're doing - and gain something of yourself back.

 

Only speaking from bitter experience......and, believe me, I know, it hurts.

 

:sparkle:

Edited by SL10

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You are going to fantasize many differant scenarios where you are the victor and your ex-girlfriend is the victim over the next few months. Enjoy them. It is your psych (ego) healing itself. The fantasies and dreams will become less as more days pass.

 

Then, because you started working out to extract revenge on your 'ex', and ended up addicted to it as a regular habit ... you are going to become an outstanding looking lad. You will start to notice females glancing at you longer than they used to -- and you'll wonder about it. Shortly after, females will begin to approach you for conversation. As it becomes known that you are available AND approachable, more and more females will begin to seek your company.

 

If you don't allow your past experiences to poison your future experiences, you have one great life ahead of you. When asked about your ex-girlfriend, hopefully you'll be wise enough to say "We grew apart with distance". And leave it at that, refusing to go into details. People truely respect a person who can keep other people's business private.

 

Think about this as you build that six-pack into bulging mounts of muscle...

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If you don't allow your past experiences to poison your future experiences, you have one great life ahead of you. When asked about your ex-girlfriend, hopefully you'll be wise enough to say "We grew apart with distance". And leave it at that, refusing to go into details. People truely respect a person who can keep other people's business private.

 

I couldn't agree more.

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Yea, i wouldnt / dont bring up what happened between me and ex's... its just not appropriate.

 

Tonight im going to a birthday party with my ex's sister.. and my ex wasnt commin but now is comming so thats going to be awkward, oh well... gotta move on. lol

Edited by strukt

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I still hate this girl more than anything Ive ever hated in my entire life, right now.... I guess i've moved on from denial to the anger stage ..... still we "talk" thru email.... and im starting to let go finally... I no longer think about what happened every single second

 

she keeps telling me how she not the same girl/ for example "I mean my attitude, a lot of the ways I think, what makes me me is different than what I was awhile ago you know. So the girl you think you know isn't really her? "

 

How can a person just switch in a month from being a nice sweet, caring, considerate girl over 18 years to being an inconsiderate :filtered: :filtered:?? She also keeps telling me how "confused" she is.... is this girl on drugs or something?

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I still hate this girl more than anything Ive ever hated in my entire life, right now.... I guess i've moved on from denial to the anger stage ..... still we "talk" thru email.... and im starting to let go finally... I no longer think about what happened every single second

 

she keeps telling me how she not the same girl/ for example "I mean my attitude, a lot of the ways I think, what makes me me is different than what I was awhile ago you know. So the girl you think you know isn't really her? "

 

How can a person just switch in a month from being a nice sweet, caring, considerate girl over 18 years to being an inconsiderate :filtered: :filtered:?? She also keeps telling me how "confused" she is.... is this girl on drugs or something?

 

Hormones?

 

No offense, but I'm 15; I'm probably a master of immatureness in relationships, and believe me when I tell you that you just need to move on. Stop talking to her, stop thinking about her, find something to put your time in to. Do a sport, get a job, etc whatever, anything to take your mind off her.

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I still hate this girl more than anything Ive ever hated in my entire life, right now.... I guess i've moved on from denial to the anger stage ..... still we "talk" thru email.... and im starting to let go finally... I no longer think about what happened every single second

 

she keeps telling me how she not the same girl/ for example "I mean my attitude, a lot of the ways I think, what makes me me is different than what I was awhile ago you know. So the girl you think you know isn't really her? "

 

How can a person just switch in a month from being a nice sweet, caring, considerate girl over 18 years to being an inconsiderate :filtered: :filtered:?? She also keeps telling me how "confused" she is.... is this girl on drugs or something?

 

Just stop talking to her. It works out best in the long run. Occupy yourself with finding another girl. :beer:

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I have a full time job, i go to school full time, I lift weights.. my day is pretty full....thats not the problem though....

 

its the nights.... when im lying alone...thinking about everything. I still have trouble sleeping more than 2 hours in a row

 

shes still the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about before i sleep. I loved this girl , so much. I dont intend to let her go her own way. I will try to get her back when I think the time is right

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I have a full time job, i go to school full time, I lift weights.. my day is pretty full....thats not the problem though....

 

its the nights.... when im lying alone...thinking about everything. I still have trouble sleeping more than 2 hours in a row

 

shes still the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about before i sleep. I loved this girl , so much. I dont intend to let her go her own way. I will try to get her back when I think the time is right

 

Man, believe me when I say this.. you do not want to do that.. you see how she left you? how she made you feel? And after all this you still want to get back with her.... just let her be alone, let he do what she wants, you can find someone else that is alot better then her, prettier, funnier, sweeter and someone who ACTUALLY cares about you.

 

Like i said before, this happened to me and i had thoughts about getting her back but after a while i just let go because i knew that i could find someone better then her, despite how much i loved her... if she can ditch me and do what she did to me and not care.. shes not worth it.

 

I know its hard when you go to bed, think about her, then fall asleep and dream about her then wake up every second of the night because you long for her... and ontop of that you wake up in the morning and the first thing you think about before your feet hit the floor is her, her and you... but you just HAVE to let go... time heals everything and when i say that i mean it. She doesnt deserve you if she can go and treat you like that.... really.. just start talking to other females and u'll realise that what u and her had was minor compared to what you and someone new can have...

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Still emailing her, hate her, gonna get her back. mmkay. :blink:

 

:lol:

 

oh cool, here comes post # 1'000 for me :)

Edited by strukt

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I'm not going back and read all the post here and if it's been said before, sorry. Comedy is funny because it is insightful into our true nature and there is much wisdom that can be derived from comedy.

 

 

 

Relationships are like milk, you go to the refrigerator and get out the milk when you taste it you discover it's sour, so you put the milk back in the refrigerator and say to yourself maybe it will be better tomorrow.

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I still hate this girl more than anything Ive ever hated in my entire life, right now.... I guess i've moved on from denial to the anger stage

...but then....

"shes still the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about before i sleep. I loved this girl , so much. I dont intend to let her go her own way. I will try to get her back when I think the time is right"

 

So is it revenge you're wanting? :huh:

 

She's never going to be able to justfy this to your satisfaction if you get back together - and you will just end up with a life where you can't trust ever and it eats you up, or a life where you turn the tables and make her life misery.

 

After what you wrote on the site you linked, if I was her I would never want to see you again.

 

What would "when the time is right" entail for you? :blink:

Edited by SL10

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