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Trusted Malware Techs
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About Tomk_

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    Beguilement Monitor
  • Birthday 01/21/1961

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    Windows 7
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  1. My carcass has already been converted to broth... and turkey noodle soup and turkey and mushroom risotto. Still have, roughly, half a turkey's worth of meat to provide a variety of meals this week... and sandwiches for lunch. I am out of cranberry sauce and there isn't much stuffing left.
  2. It appears to me that you are unfairly targeting spammers for discipline. That's profiling...and profiling is wrong.
  3. Then is it a nod to the song... "This little light of mine"?
  4. It may be an Urban Legend, but this supposedly real job application, which a 16 year old boy submitted to a McDonald's fast-food establishment in San Diego, got him desired position — because it was honest and funny at the same time! Name: Greg Bulmash. Sex: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. Desired position: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. Desired salary: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. Education: Yes. Last position held: Target for middle management hostility. Salary: Less than I'm worth. Reason for leaving: It sucked. May we contact your current employer?: If I had one, would I be here? Hours available to work: Any. Preferred hours: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. Most notable achievement: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. Special skills: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. Do you have any physical conditions that would prohibit you from lifting up to 50 lbs.?: Of what? Do you have a car?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" Have you received any special awards or recognition?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes. Do you smoke?: On the job no, on my breaks yes. What would you like to be doing in five years?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. Do you certify that the above is true and complete to the best of your knowledge?: Yes. Absolutely. Sign here: Aries.
  5. Happy Birthday you mule headed, stubborn, old goat. Your participation here is missed.
  6. You were obviously distracted by sitting out by the pool and catching some rays.
  7. Yeah... all of that global warming is really getting to me. I mean, it was a whole 3 degrees this morning. Then it it warmed up to a sweltering 43 degrees this afternoon! And that's in Fahrenheit. Can you imagine if it was Celsius? It's currently 25 looking for 21 by morning and they are predicting that we could hit 50 tomorrow. I'll sure be glad when I can turn the air conditioning off. Well... I can't really turn it off as I don't have one... but if I did. I'd be wanting to be able to turn it off.
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