Overheard: I'm not even Catholic, but I gave up picking my belly button for lint.
Woman returned home one night after attending evening service only to find a burglar in her home. She yelled "Stop, Acts 2:38". The burglar froze and the woman called the police, the police came in and handcuffed the man and took him away. While placing the man in the police car he asked the burglar why he didn't run away as the woman only recited scripture to him, the burglar replied "Scripture, she said she had an axe and two 38's".